Girl’s Neighborhood

Doing something productive is so hard when all you want to do is cry. And you feel so guilty, because you know time is only counting down and you struggle to stay afloat but you just keep sinking. It's just so easy to blame yourself. It doesn't help that the pressures of others push you down even further. Nobody sees.

I just feel like I'm hurting so much right now. It all feels so generalized, too. What's wrong? Everything is wrong. I know what is bothering me right now, but everything else doesn't make it any better.

Just another BLAH kind of day, I guess.

And my vacation high is draining from my body as I realize life is still the same here. Haha.
I wish I could just drift form place to place all my life. I would be happy.

My sister and I drove for about 5 hours to get to OC and we did not kill one another. In fact, we laughed... a lot. And took some really dumb pictures.

Also, at one point she took a picture of my cleavage, right? So she sent it to Justin.
The next day he texted me any asked if he could get one without the shirt. So, I laughed and told him that I save that for in-person sort of moments.

Then I went in the bathroom and let Allison man my phone.
He texted me back and told me I sucked.
So I had her text him the obvious, "I am offering to show you my boobs and you are saying I suck?"
He said, "Do I get boobs and a suck."

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why you never let someone else manage your phone, ok?

She, without waiting for my actual reply, sent him a "Yes." And told me she thinks I need some action. (Which I do.)
However, I explained to her that "a suck" was his referral to a blow job. She thought he wanted to play with my nipples.

Um, yeah. So...

Lesson to all you out there: Do not allow others to operate your cell phone.

Pictures will follow in a following posting.

I'm going to sell all of my stuff. 

I heard this song on the radio this afternoon on my way to get lunch....it made me happy and the day much more upbeat :)

Happy Friday everyone! I wish we were all going down the to Chattahoochee!

Uh huh those are trash cans
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This is one thing I don't mind about my campus. (Ok, they keep our grass pretty green too, nvm the fact that the ceiling is falling apart in the chem building). The art museum. In the back, there is a little cafe called 'winslows after, you guessed it, winslow. Ya know the painting with the kids in the field... Ok.

I go there a lot during fall/spring if I have a break between classes. The staff is friendly and they remember your usual order, lol. Or maybe I've just been there too much.

My instructor just passed by. It was awkward once I realized I could do to pull my tank top up a little. Ugh, I swear I'm not 'that girl'. I hope she understands why my rough draft is like, a partial draft with an outline attached. I fell asleep last night in the middle of things and woke up at 4AM in a total panic. Ya know the feeling you get when you oversleep and are late for work? Ok that's the feeling that woke me up. Entirely unpleasant.

I wish it would have woke me up 2 or 3 hours before that. Stupid internal clock.

I guess Sarah and I are leaving for the concert around 6 this evening. This allows sufficient time for zumba and a good nap. I think. I never really know.

Class will be fun today without my glasses (currently chilling at the wgreen). Kinda sad actually, we are seeing some clips today and I will be sitting in the back with a mopey face. Gotta get those from work before I leave for sarahs too.

Thank goodness tomorrow is payday. If I weren't saving my pennies I would totally buy myself a hugeo margarita FIRST THING.

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I have no idea why I'm up so early. I wanted to sleep until 8 or so, since I'll be attempting to drive this ~4 hour drive straight through.

I hate long drives. I think you already know this.

So, ok... I looked at my credit card statement online yesterday. Even though I laid down a nice chunk last month... it's still at the same balance because I KEEP USING IT! I am a bad girl. I will not use it now. I am just reminding myself.

I'm trying to figure out what the best course of action would be regarding a job for this upcoming fall & spring semester. You see, I do not wish to work for $7.50 and hour as a student worker now that I know I could make $9.25 at a gas station (Sheetz) with the added benefit of tuition reimbursement ($750 a semester, I believe... which will not be a lot when I transfer, but it definitely helps). Oh, and if you work 30 hours there, you can apply for benefits, which is nice.

I don't really WANT to work at a gas station, but it's non-secretarial work is alluring.
And it would be hard for me to find a secretarial job that would be flexible with my hours, since I will be attending school and all.

It would be nice if I could find a way to get into a classroom for a few hours here and there too. I've not the slightest idea how to go about doing that though, and I though Justin was gonna help me a bit with that idea. (More on his unhelpfulness later.)

I'm thinking about biting the bullets and making my 5th class "Painting I" since I'll need that to transfer anyway. I was even considering taking a 6th class (math, perhaps) but I'm just not sure if I want to test my limits that much.

I've done 5 classes before and it didn't kill me, what's one more, right?
Thoughts, comments, warnings would be appreciated on this topic. Haha.

Oh, every time I talk about this stuff with my parents, I have their attention for about 5 minutes. Then my mom will say that I should work full-time and go to school full-time. Which, you know, I'm not really that much of a goddess, I'm not sure I could do that because I do like being able to see sunlight on occassion... and not through a window.

My dad... he just tunes out and starts talking about something else. It's really comforting because I'm asking them for a little guidance and I get nothing.

Justin is not being nearly as helpful as I hoped he would be regarding all this educational shit.

I mean, oh well, I can figure it out on my own... but I was hoping he would be helpful for once, considering all the times I've been helpful to him. Grrr.

I'm going to give him a tiny bit of time on this one because I know he's working hard on his math class. I will be the understanding girl again. The one that stands on the sideline, offering support and then gets trampled on the way to the locker room.

Yeah, that's me. I'm getting used to that now.
Besides, I have been the unpopular cheerleader before.
Of course, that's also when I said "to hell with cheering" and quit.
... I should quit more often.

Heading out for a vacation again. With the sister.
I'll be leaving tomorrow at 10 am.

I will not have internet until Saturday. I think I wrote about that already.
I hope I do not need my vox therapy until then. Haha.

Scare Tactics is a lame show.

I've packed all but the bare essentials by now. I'm going to try not to spend over $100 while I'm there (excluding gas and toll charges, of course) so... I should be fine, right? Lol.

I spent part of my brain breaks today scoping out more information on the iPhone. I am looking to make an informed decision rather than an "oooh pretty" decision. (Even though I rarely pick anything just because it's pretty.)

Hmmm, let's see.
Wow.
I already covered the "new blog" thing in my last entry.
The no internet thing. Covered.
Um... I packed. Most of my stuff anyway. Just the basics to go now.
Oh, and a beach towel would be good, I'm sure.

Yeah. There's nothing new here, I just felt the need to drop in.